Purgatory: Origins
by TheFirstStranger7
Summary: If there's a point to all this, I haven't found it yet. Redemption seems impossible to grasp and justice is very cruel, or non-existent. Still, I have new friends, new family, and a charge to save the world. I just don't get it. This be hell, or heaven? Self-Insert. Reviews may hold affect to the future of the fanfic. Should be obvious which Dragon Age (timeline) I'm writing about
1. Chapter 1

**How's it hanging, yo?**

 **Alright, I'll be straight with ya: first chapter of my first fanfic, so please don't be expecting Picasso.**

 **Send Reviews, even bad reviews, and Private Messaging. Profanity is a no-no, and you'll be on the fast track to not being a valued reader if you do.**

 **Disclaimer: I** _ **DO NOT**_ **own Dragon Age. It wouldn't be as good as a game if I had owned it anyway.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Death is a real eye-opener. Most people devote their entire lives into shaping the person they think they ought to be by wearing the new styles, associating with certain characters, even marrying those they do not love for ulterior motives.

However, death weeds out the superficial from the genuine, and how you die puts even more emphasis on who you _really_ are. The only downside is that it's purely hindsight: too little, too blasted late.

What can I say? I know from experience. And from my experiences, I had learned a most true thing about myself: _I really don't want to die right now._ For a youngster, it's obvious that I would think that way, but I am different from everybody else. I don't fear death, I accepted it as a natural phenomenon that could happen to me at any point of my life, though it chose to happen now. I was somewhat excited to cross the abyss and discover what it was to be dead, free from pain, deception, fear, and heartbreak.

Oh yes, I wanted to be free from all that.

Still….somehow, in some small way….. _I really don't want to die right now. Like this._ But what did my feelings matter on the subject? What did they accomplish? Absolutely nothing.

It felt like the whole world had gone silent, silent and dark, with the exception of my slowing heartbeat. I felt numb to all types of pain, my brain strained to make congruent thoughts, and all the strength I had left centralized on the beating organ in my chest.

I felt so lonely. Just little old me, laid out on the ground, slowly dying to death.

Then the physical aspects of my life began to transform into….I dunno, _spiritual_ or whatnot. The heavier my body felt, the lighter something inside me felt. It was like inhaling deeply; you watch your chest rise and get full of air, then you're so full of air that you're compelled to breathe out. It was like that, but it felt like I was a balloon, that I could take in so much air, I could float to the sky.

I'm probably talking all sorts of crazy, but that's how it all felt.

Eventually, I did float into the sky.

My vision was completely overtaken by darkness for the briefest of moments, until light illuminated the way in the form of several billion stars, more than anyone has ever seen.

I was floating -or perhaps falling- farther than I had even thought possible: out of time, space, even thought, to that proverbial bright light everyone talked about, and I had the strangest of feelings that everything was going to be okay, like I was heading to a happy, familiar place I hadn't been in for years.

Then I stopped. Stopped floating, or falling, whatever I was doing.

I just….stopped.

Was this Heaven? Didn't feel positive enough to be so. Maybe Hell? Thankfully, it didn't feel bad enough to be so. It was like I was somewhere…between. Wasn't a terribly comfortable feeling.

" _ **Don't be afraid…."**_

" _ **Do not be scared….."**_

" _ **Do not worry…."**_

It was a voice, but one I did not recognize. It came like an echo, an echo that said a different phrase each time the voice bounced back into my…..astral perception of hearing, I suppose is the more accurate term. Y'know, still dead.

" _ **A new life begins for you, my old friend. A new birth…."**_

I barely had time to understand what was being told of me when I felt something grip me and pull me down. I became reacquainted with an old friend: gravity. The stars beside me became only flashing blur at the speed I traveled, I could barely move or blink. I was almost beginning to feel a crushing weight that suppressed me.

Suddenly, it felt like I fell into the sea. A sense of rugged weightlessness fell upon me and I myself felt tired once again. Not the content type of tired, but the harsh, sore feeling of tiredness.

 _I…will live?_ I wondered in my head. Such a thing couldn't be possible. Shouldn't the dead stay dead? How many laws of would that be breaking?

" _ **A new life, another journey to take, though this one be more treacherous. Stay to the path, and you may yet save yourself…."**_

 _Danger? What path? Is it a physical path, or a philosophical one?_

Despite all my protests, the only response I got to my questions was silence. Silence, and the undeniable urge to sleep.

But in the distance of my mind, the echoes of my thoughts, I swear I could hear a baby's cries….

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 **Chapter 1**

 **So…think you'll come back? I'm working on chapter 2 real quick. I want to get to the best parts as fast as I can, but backstory is necessary, so we do this slow and steady.**

 **See ya in the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wassup! Long time, no see.**

 **It's been a couple of months or so, and I really wanted to get out a chapter earlier, but my computer's had problems, I've been working on making other fanfics, and college final exams.**

 **That being said, I've gone through my freshmen year of college! Cheer for me!**

 **But enough talk, it's time for the story!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DRAGON AGE. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL TELL YOU.**

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" _Ya!_ Take that darkspawn! You're no match against a Grey Warden's blade!"

Despite Fergus' protests, my eldest brother was forced to play the role of the dreaded darkspawn for our favored guest. Also, I was a little busy writing, trying to regain (or make) my fingers' old strength and efficiency.

It's been six years since Aedan Cousland, the next heir to the Cousland name - _and yours truly_ \- joined the family, and I've been desperately trying to forget that endeavor ever since. However, the constant breastfeeding just kept bringing the memory to surface, eventually searing it for all time.

Other people like me recognize that name; they would probably call me crazy, that what I'm even suggesting was insanely impossible.

In my old life -which certainly _feels_ like an old life in every way-my definition of impossible was very broad. Then I was reincarnated in a world that is too fantastical to even exist. My definition of impossible has officially become more subjective.

Still, diving away from all the fantastical things I'll see when I get older, you'll never believe that it's actually reliving childhood that would excite people the most.

It's been quite a boon, being a child. You never know all the moments when you were a toddler that you took for granted, forgot even. Now, it's like I'm rediscovering what it means to be alive; only this time, I know what the future has in store for me.

Or I thought I did.

My new life has so far resembled that of the one the game makers had written down, but it's not exactly identical. I don't really know how, only that there are comparisons and contrasts.

Comparisons: I have an older brother named Fergus who is more of a pain in the neck than my _actual_ older brother.

Contrast: He's currently being fake slain by Cailan, the future king of the realm and apparent son of my father's old friend.

"There, can I be the Grey Warden this time?" Fergus whined, no doubt nursing his pride as he laid on the ground as the prince stood triumphantly above him.

"How bout we both be Grey Wardens, and Aedan be the darkspawn!"

"I don't _want_ to play, I want to write." I replied. "Besides, that wouldn't be fair. There are more darkspawn than Grey Wardens."

"That's right!" Cailan piped. "But the Grey Wardens always beat back the darkspawn in the Blight!"

"That's because darkspawn are stupid." Fergus pointed out. "We can pretend that Aedan's a stupid darkspawn we cornered from the rest, right Aedan?"

"Shut up Fergus."

That wasn't enough for them, apparently, as four hands pulled me out from my chair. I could barely make out a cry of shock, much less help, as the other two started to beat me with wooden sticks and full grins.

"Kill it! Kill the darkspawn!"

"For the Grey Wardens!"

" _Geoff me! This isn't funny!"_

"Darkspawn don't speak!"

To be honest, if it was anybody else other than me, it probably would have been funny.

The two continued to "slay the darkspawn" to their heart's abandon, and my idiotically frail body couldn't stand a chance against a two-on-one sneak attack, so like any good sailor, my only option was to ride the storm. For however long it would last. It's feeling like it's going to last a long time.

"And what might be transpiring in here?"

At the booming voice of the man, Caiden and Fergus hastily retreated from me and faced the man. The towering figure above was far from my father, his hair was too blond, and he wore too….regal of clothes.

No doubt about it. It was my first meeting with King Maric Theirin, the legend of our time. And he caught me being ganged up by kids. Talk about embarrassing.

Cailan, who was just laughing with no abandon, suddenly looked like he couldn't muster a smile. "We…we were playing Grey Wardens, father."

The king of Ferelden glanced at me. "And I suppose you were chosen to be the darkspawn then?"

"If being ambushed from behind by two people older than me counts for being darkspawn, then yes, I was the darkspawn." My mouth opened and words flowed sarcastically from it before my brain could comprehend what it was doing, much less stop it.

Curse childlike honesty! Curse adult sarcasm! This deadly duo is gonna get me killed one day!

King Maric, however, laughed. "A sharp wit! In my experience upon the battlefield, there are few weapons in the world that is far deadlier than this."

"Yet he mostly uses his gifts for trouble." Father said, coming from the shadows behind the king. "I swear he gets it from his mother."

Unfortunately for Father, the "light of his life" just so happened to be right behind him when he made the statement.

"The way your words have now gotten _you_ into trouble, you might say that he gets it from his father." She said sweetly, a little too sweetly.

' _So whipped.'_

"Teyrn Bryce, Teyrna Eleanor, I thank you for your generous hospitality." The king said.

Father shook him off. "It is ours to give freely whenever the king of Ferelden ever ventures away from the throne to Highever."

"You carry a burden greater than our own." Mother added. "But I simply cannot let you leave without having a Highever supper."

A reasonable request, I thought. I wasn't one to turn down free food, no matter who gave it to me.

To my surprise, the strong King legends spoke of was…. _embarrassed._

"Well-uh…I wouldn't want to impose-don't wish to overstay our welcome-"

However, once the king felt a constant tug on his robes, he glanced down to face the doom of all rational decisions: the pleading eyes of his son.

"Can't we stay a little while longer, Father? I like Fergus. And Aedan too."

' _Love you too, you brat.'_

Personal feelings aside, it just goes to show that in any timeline, in real life or….whatever I was in, it goes to show that there's still just no way of denying your child.

 **X**

* * *

 **X**

 _Its cruel wings soared menacingly in the red sky, each flapped felt like it created a hurricane that threatened to pull the flesh straight from my bones. When it descended from the sky to the earth, the ground trembled like an earthquake had erupted right in front of me._

 _The red eyes stared at me full of hate and bloodlust, much like the rest of its body really. Its wicked sharp talons rested at both my sides; they looked sharper than any sword in existence._

 _It was always my destiny, my duty, the pure existence of the Grey Wardens in total, to stand where I was standing right now and plunge my sword into the heart of this…this monster._

 _But looking at the creature now…..Maker help me._

 _I don't know how I ever deceived myself into thinking that it could be killed-_

I woke up when I heard my nightmare monster roar. I felt like I was sweating up an ocean, and it didn't help that the roar reverberated off my memories like a haunted echo.

Eventually, I convinced myself it was a bad dream and decided to mark off whatever I had for dinner last night as "bad idea for pre-sleep food."

' _Still…why the archdemon?'_ I suppose it would make sense, seeing how I had to kill the thing someday, but I never had this dream before. Until today.

Could I take it that it wasn't _simply_ a dream? I've never been one to believe in premonitions, but my situation isn't exactly normal.

There was no point on thinking about such things. I'll grow up, become a Grey Warden, go on an excellent adventure with my warrior rag-tag band of merry men, kill this thing, and be hailed off as a hero, just like in the game. Sleep.

I must have closed my eyes ten-thousand times that night, but sleep didn't come back to me, being the illusive temptress she was. Eventually, I settled with thinking better thoughts and waiting for the morn to come.

I recounted the day I spent with Cailan, and his fallen face when King Maric finally made it out our door. The poor boy so wanted to stay, or at least bring one of us with him. Probably Fergus; he might've done me a favor or two if he _did_ bring Fergus with him.

Back to the point, he's still going to die later….

Every now and then, whenever I'm alone and I have loads of time to think, I always play with humanity's favorite question: _what if?_

What if I said screw it and decided to play the game my way? What if I saved everyone? I mean, it's not just a game anymore. These people are real-or real enough for me-and therefore isn't it my obligation to do something? _Anything?_

Much like most of the modern day government, these things were way above my pay grade, so I usually left it alone. Just lived my life, be the best son my parents could have (mostly because Fergus was slacking and _someone_ had to do it…) and wait for the inevitable to become inevitable.

Still, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

"You're awake."

I nearly broke my head jerking it to my front chamber door. Somehow, in all my thinking, I hardly noticed Father walk right into my room.

Something was off about him. He held a stern look on his face and it was much too early for anyone to be up.

"Father?" I said gingerly.

He turned and began to walk outside.

"Get dressed and come with me." No matter what world I'm in, when my father speaks those words in a stern way, I instantly obeyed. Mostly because I did something wrong and I just got caught.

I didn't have the courage to ask him what I did wrong, and I got a vibe that he wasn't going to tell me anyway, so we both walked through the desolate castle until we came to a set of wooden doors.

The doors opened with a low groan at his pull and revealed the way to the main courtyard. My Father used the courtyard to practice sword fighting with Fergus; sometimes Mother would bring me outside to see the two lunging at each other with wooden sticks in the heat of the sun.

However now, the sun hadn't risen yet and the outside was cold and dark. Despite that, my heart began to beat faster than ever.

"The Maker made the sun to give life to the trees, the flowers, and everything else that moves." Father spoke still in that same, negative tone. "He also made it so that all can see the greatness he made, life itself."

Finally, he stopped right in front of a rack that held two wooden swords. "What I show you today does not respect the Maker's wish to give life, but takes it. It is a terrible thing, to take a man's life without any natural cause, but the duties you will take on as a member to the Cousland House demands that you must know these things."

With that said, he picked up the swords and tossed one to me.

"Little pup, it's time you learned how to fight."

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 **How did you like this chapter? It's a little boring, but what do you expect from a noble heir? The next chapter, we'll be jumping a little further ahead in the life**

 **See ya!**


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